Sir…I’m sorry ma’am 

Yesterday I went shopping and when I went to check out the lady called me sir. 

Here’s the thing, yes when she looked at my face she quickly apologized.  But this is what ticks me off about the world. About society.  

What is that you ask?

The expectations of how women SHOULD look. How they should dress. It’s rubbish!

I don’t like it. I’ve never liked it.

I am tall. I don’t have huge breast.  I don’t have a huge buttocks. And I don’t wear tight fitting clothes that shows off my none huge parts. 

I do wear sports clothes. I feel comfortable wearing what I wear. Should we not all do the same thing?

I like ballcaps, for many years now. Yet, if i wear one–even if I wear makeup and earrings–I could be mistaken for a dude. 

Why?

Because people don’t bother to look at a person’s face before coming to a conclusion about their gender. 

This stuff does kinda hurt my feelings.  I don’t want to be a man. I have no desire to change my gender. I’m a woman. I am very fine with being one; yet, society norms has us so conditioned to how a woman should dress and look that we form biases. I truly believe that.

It just upsets me. Because I shouldn’t have to dress “girly” (please know I have NO issues with women who dress that way as it’s how they want to dress, at least I would think so anyway) to be seen as a woman. I have the legs to wear hot shorts or mini skirts, people have complimented my legs for forever, but that’s not what I like to wear. My body, my choice, eh?!

Listen I know people make mistakes.  But if they’d just take a second to look someone in the eyes, face, they’d probably make less of them when it comes to calling someone sir or ma’am.  

Just saying!

Oh, and the funny (not really) thing about what happened yesterday was the cashier (quietly) told me that, this was in Bahrain as I was on a short getaway, she’s called women ma’am before and they were “lesbians” who were upset with her for calling them ma’am. 

What? Really?! 

I told her that if I were a lesbian I’d still be a woman. And one shouldn’t judge someone by their look and assume such things. Also, all the lesbians I know are just fine NOT being called sir. 

She honestly seemed genuine about her apology. I took it as a teachable moment.  Told her to just pay attention to people’s face and if you don’t know what to say maybe just say something like “next”, to not have confusion.  Or something along those lines. 

She smiled and shook her head and I left a bit bewildered by the whole experience. 

Moral of the story: let is not allow social norms or social expectations to cloud our judgement of what is right in front of us. Which will help is not assume one’s gender based off how one dresses.  

And remember to spreak kindness. Even when it is tempting not to. 😉😎✌🏾

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