When people become silent…

I have noticed how people kind of disappear when a major medical illness happens. 

I don’t think it’s necessarily intentional. Or maybe it is. We humans don’t know how to deal with stuff like cancer. Not all of us. But it’s a reality.  

People just don’t know how to react to illness.  

What do you say to someone that could die? What not to say? Or maybe they have their own issues that they don’t have time to be there for someone.  Sure, that’s more selfish. But we are only humans. And humans can be self preserving.  And selfish. It is what it is. And maybe the reality of that keeps them away even more?

For me, the people that were like always there for me the first time I went through cancer are simply just not there now. I rarely hear from them. Not that I want people to feel pity for me. Not that I want them to be like blowing up my phone every day. Or even every week. But just be nice to hear from them from time to time. A little “Hey how are you? Thinking of you?” Even if just a text message.  I have been getting that from former students…who are in Saudi. Yet, my friends of 20+ years rarely contact me. 

I just think it’s interesting. 

I wonder if they are like that because this time I’m better off. This time I am not like before. This time my chances of survival are far greater than before. And that makes them feel ok. That has them not reaching out, because they feel all will be ok. 

Though that is great. And I’m believing the same (praise God), it still means a lot to have people reach out from time to time. The support system is such an important part of healing. I so believe that! It was a huge part of my survival mode when I battled last time. I was given strength from their support. Their calls. Their texts.  Their messages. That all made my heart smile. And was a motivator to fight even more.  

So, now, this time, it intrigues me how those that were there for me–in constant contact–are just not around much this time around. 

And this is not just happening to me.  I read about all the time. I have friends going through similar stories.

It’s so darn interesting. 

What do you think? Is it the fear of cancer? Is it just they might feel that because I have a better outcome this time that no need to be in contact as much? Or that maybe we humans are becoming so selfish and self involved that we simply don’t have time for others? I genuinely want to know how those not going through cancer feel about this.  

Now, please know I don’t NEED constant attention.  In fact, it is the last thing I want. I don’t want pity.  I don’t people to feel like sorry for me. I am going through cancer, and it sucks. But I don’t want or need people to worry for me. It is just nice to know you are being thought of during a not so cool time. You know? 

Ok, guess I’ll stop here about this. Thanks for reading and do leave a comment and let me know your input on this. 👊🏾

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