What a rough week. I had my 3rd treatment last Wednesday. And let me tell you CHEMO SUCKS!
I had already known that to be the case. I had already known the treatments to be horrible. I had already known that with each one the side effects would get or be worse. But when you are experiencing the side effects, in full force, man oh man how terrible it is!
As one of my best friends put it: “the one time you want discrimination you don’t get it.”
She’s referring to how chemo doesn’t know how to discriminate between the good and the bad in my body. It doesn’t just go after the cancer. Nope, it, chemo (aka poison) hits everything! It does go after the bad but it also goes after the good. It does not know how to distinguish them. Thus, my body ends up being in a lot of pain.
My body becomes weaker and weaker with each treatment. Yes, the chemo is destroying the cancer. Thus, making me stronger in that I’m going to beat cancer–I by the strength of Christ I will beat it! But at the same time, the poison is also hurting me.
I have so much fatigue. I have sharp like pain in my abdomen. It just comes and goes. Not fun at all. Then there is the ever present neuropathy. It is hard to describe. Basically, tingling and numbness–while at the same time a present amount of pain–in my fingers and toes. It’s quite annoying actually. I move my hands around a lot to try and I don’t know get rid of the pain or try not to feel the numbness & tingling too much. Though I’m pretty sure it doesn’t do anything. It’s more psychosomatic than anything else.
When I walk I feel heavy. Like my body is heavier than normal and sometimes I feel like I’m just going to fall down due to how I feel. Sometimes I have an off balance. Meaning, my equilibrium is off. And I catch myself from falling. I have never lost my balance so much that I’ve actually fell down. Thank God! And it doesn’t happen every day or other day. It just happens sometimes.
Thankfully none of this stuff effects my driving. Ok, not really. The other day I was in so much pain that I was only able to work (drive) for an hour. The pain was just too much. I ended up going home and taking one hydrocodone. Which I don’t care to do. But the pain was unbearable and it helped me sleep. Sleep through the pain. Which I needed.
Cancer truly sucks!
But chemotherapy sucks too!
I wish that we would create a way to get chemo to discriminate. To be able to pin point where the cancer is and only go there. Thereby having all the good stuff in our body not be affected. Not be terribly terribly affected by the poisonous toxins.
Wouldn’t that be something?! What a world that would be. But then again it would still be a world where cancer existed. Which would still suck.
So, I’m hoping and praying for a world where there will be no more cancer, at all. Yes, a world where we will have a cure for ALL cancers. But also a beautiful world where cancer just stopped happening. Stopped existing!
How awesome that would be!
But until that happens, please take care of your body. Listen to it. Be aware of when it doesn’t feel right. And see a doctor sooner rather than later. Maybe that way you’ll never have cancer or if you do, it will be in the early stages. So early that you’ll never know the woes of chemofriggintherapy! 👊🏾
As for my treatments, I have one more to do this month. Then we will get a scan to see what the masses look like. Praying they will be gone or very tiny that I’ll soon no longer need any more of that poison. Please dear Lord let that be the case.
Thanks for your prayers and good vibes. ❤